Skywise Unlimited

The sky is divided into 88 parts. If you play connect-the-dots within these boundaries, some of the patterns resemble the names, but most were never meant to. Just like Washington State doesn’t look like George Washington. Click on the names below for a snarky review of the starlore of the constellations and the stuff we […]

The constellation of Andromeda represents a princess. One day her mother Cassiopeia decided that to save the town she would have to feed the lovely princess to Cetus, a hideous squiddly sea creature also known as the Kraken. That’s just how things were done in those days. It paid to have a few spare daughters […]

The constellation Antlia represents an air pump. The name just means pump, but it was originally Antlia Pneumatica. Back in the 1700’s Nick Lacaille named several constellations after inventions that changed the world, in his opinion. In the 1670’s a French physicist named Denis Papin had invented the air pump which is a handy device […]

The constellation Apus represents a Bird of Paradise. It gets its formal name from the Greek word “apous” which means “footless.” That’s pretty weird. The backstory begins with Magellan and his intrepid men. They took the first big trip around the earth in 1522, proving that if you can go far enough in this crazy […]

Aquila (Latin for eagle) is a constellation that represents the eagle that carried Zeus’ thunderbolts around for him. Whenever Zeus wanted to thunderbolt something he would say “Hey Aquila, bolt me.” Aquila also carried the mortal Ganymede up to the heavens to serve as Zeus’ cup-bearer, so he was kind of an all-purpose personal support […]

The altar that the constellation Ara refers to is the one Zeus and his godly siblings built to swear allegiance to each other. It’s kind of weird, gods building an altar to themselves. But it was a special occasion. This was just before they went to war with Cronus and the other Titans. Earlier, Cronus […]

The constellation of Aries is pretty much just three dim little stars. A small flattened triangle, that’s it. Sorry if you identify Aries with your birthday, but that really is it. If you are looking to get the star pattern as a birth-sign tattoo, this one should be the cheapest. The Babylonians at first decided […]

The constellation Boötes is usually called the herdsman but sometimes he is the plowman. Herding or plowing, free range cowboy or dirt farmer. It reminds me of the old Cain and Able conflict that depicts the rise of agriculture and the resulting social alternatives that civilization presented to the rural traditions. It’s not entirely different […]

Caelum is a constellation that was named in honor of the chisel one uses to chip away all of the stone which is hiding the artsy stuff one wants to reveal. It was introduced in the 1750’s by a guy named Nicolas Louis de Lacaille who was filling in blank spots on his sky maps […]

Camelopardalis is a very northerly constellation which represents a giraffe. I know it sounds like it should be a camel. If it helps, just imagine a camel where you pushed down on the hump and it made the neck stretch. Meanwhile try saying Camelopardalis over and over quickly. Wasn’t that fun? To the ancient Greeks […]

Cancer is a constellation of the zodiac, which is the circle of animals defined by the yearly path of the sun. The zodiac is the oldest known method of finding ones way across the sky. Folks figured out a long time ago that the sun travels around a seemingly changeless, be-speckled sphere. There are thirteen […]

There are a couple of hunting dogs which together form the constellation Canes Venatici. The north dog is named Asterion (little star) and the south dog is named Chara (joy). If you are looking for weird dog names for your new puppy, there you go. The allegory caught on back in 1687 when a Polish […]