Like Your Mom

January 27, 2013

Religion

A true lady takes off her dignity with her clothes and does her whorish best. ~ Robert HeinleinReaping the Whirlwind
Hosea 1:2 to 8:7

1:2 The Lord ordered Hosea to marry a prostitute because the Jews were doing whorish things. It seemed like a reasonable demand. So Hosea married a hooker named Gomer and she had children who were given long terrible names by God himself.

2:2 Go tell your mother she is just a stupid slut. Do it now. I swear I will have absolutely no mercy on that slut. I will make her life a living hell. I will expose the lewd, whorish slut for the lewd whorish slut that she is.

3:1 God told me to love an adulteress, a prostitute, a whore, a slut. So I went downtown and bought this trashy woman, paid good money for her, and took her home.

3:4 We Jews must go a long time without a king but someday good old King David will come back to life. He’s going to be taking names and kicking butt. People just aren’t conservative enough anymore. That’s the problem. Damned liberals! It’s all so wicked. Whores whores whores. Nothing but whores. God can go on and on and on about what a wicked and worthless whore-slut Israel turned out to be.

8:7 They have sown the wind and they will reap the whirlwind. He will tear them to pieces. Return to the Lord O Israel you stupid damned whore-slut.

Chinese officials asking a young capitalist to relocate her enterprise.
Next: Bugs and Worms
The Bible According to Brad

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