Skywise Unlimited

Zerubbabel and the Temple Haggai 1:1 to 2:23 1:1 The word of the Lord as imagined by the prophet Haggai, chief bottle washer and overpaid yes-man to The Mighty Zerubbabel, Prince of Persia, in the province of Judah (rural delivery). 2:3 Some people are saying that it is not yet time to rebuild the old […]

Day of the Lord Zephaniah 1:1 to 3:20 1:1 The word of the Lord which dawned on Zephaniah, who was the son of somebody, who was the son of somebody, who was the son of somebody. God says he will come and utterly eat everything. A day is coming, a bad day, a real bad […]

Fear of God Habakkuk 1:1 to 3:2 1:1 The burden of being Jewish from the point of view of Habakkuk. Lord how long do I have to sit around balling my eyes out and you will not hear me crying? Even when there is massive violence you will not come save us. There is something […]

The Vengeance of God Nahum 1:1 to 3:1 1:1 The burden of Nineveh and all of the associated imaginings in the mind of a guy named Nahum. God is jealous. God is revengeful. God is furious. So then, we’ve established that God is jealous, revengeful, and furious. He is slow to anger sometimes but when […]

Wrath of God Micah 1:1 to 6:2 1:1 The word of the Lord that just popped into Micah’s head one day. It’s going to get bad, real bad. God will be coming down to walk on the Earth and the dirt will melt under his feet like wax in a hot fire. He will totally […]

Jonah and the Whale Jonah 1:1 to 4:1 1:1 Once upon a time there was a Jewish guy named Jonah. The Lord talked to Jonah. He said “Jonah, go over there to that extremely distant city of Nineveh. Let the Ninnies know that I have noticed their wickedness, even from way over here. I’m not […]

Judgment Day Amos 1:1 to 9:11 1:1 These are some words blurted out one day by Amos. That’s Mr. Amos to you. The Lord says he has three or four damn good reasons for sending a nasty horrible fire to burn up all of the nations in the whole damned mid-east region, including Israel and […]

Valley of Jehoshaphat Joel 1:1 to 3:2 1:1 OK, here it is, the word of the Lord that just happened to come to Joel one day. It just popped into his head. And the word is that the crops not eaten by worms are eaten by locusts and the crops not eaten by locusts are […]

Prophecy of Doom Isaiah 1:1 to 66:1 1:1 The hallucinations of Isaiah, the son of Amoz, which he saw concerning Judah and Jerusalem back in the days of Uzziah and a bunch of other kings. 1:2 Ok listen up. God says he has taken good care of you up until now but you are all […]

The Preacher Ecclesiastes 1:1 to 12:1 1:1 The words of the preacher, the son of King David in Jerusalem. Everything is nothing, absolutely nothing. Everything is absolutely nothing. People live and people die but the Earth just keeps on keeping on. The sun rises and the sun sets. The wind blows, the river flows. There […]

Wisdom of Solomon Proverbs 1:1 to 31:1 1:1 These are the wise sayings of Solomon, son of David, king of Israel. 1:7 The beginning of knowledge is to be afraid of the Lord. So be very afraid. 1:8 My son, listen to me and your mother. 1:10 Don’t hang with bad people. 3:1 Don’t forget […]

Hymns of the Lyre Psalms 1:1 to 1:150 1. You would do well to follow the Lord’s rules, otherwise you will suffer mightily I assure you. 2. The kings of Earth think they can gang up against the Lord but he is laughing. Bwahahaha he will smash them to pieces like a clay pot. I […]