Be Afraid

March 17, 2013

Religion

Fairy tales are more than true, not because they tell us that dragons exist, but because they tell us that dragons can be beaten. ~ Neil Gaiman, CoralineFear of God
Habakkuk 1:1 to 3:2

1:1 The burden of being Jewish from the point of view of Habakkuk.

Lord how long do I have to sit around balling my eyes out and you will not hear me crying? Even when there is massive violence you will not come save us. There is something seriously slack and non-comprehensive about your rule-making ability. Like, why do you punish us by having Chaldeans attack us? Those Chaldean folks are obviously wicked, way more wicked than us. They don’t even worship you, it makes no sense at all.

2:1 I waited around for God to answer me and God told me to get some paper and write this down. God said “Hey buddy, I have good reasons for how I use the Chaldeans. None of your damn beeswax, that’s why. Besides, I have plenty of bloody violence planned for the Chaldeans eventually.”

I listened and scribbled down everything God said on the paper whether it made sense or not and said to myself “Whoa.”
god - dog, dog - god. Think about it.
3:2 God scares the living piss out of me. God came down one day and he was so brightly lit it hurt my eyes. There were horns coming out of his hands. Horns, out of his hands. Wherever he went there were lots of annoying pests following close behind. Burning coals came flying out of his feet. Burning coals, flying out of his feet. He sized up the Earth and then destroyed whole nations. The mountains saw him coming and they were frightened. The Sun and Moon stood still. They were probably scared stiff by God’s flying burning coal feet.

When I heard God walk by, my lips and belly quivered and rottenness entered my bones. Although everything in my life fails, and there is no food, and no farming, and no livestock, and my bones are all rotteny, I will still praise God. He’s that scary.
So comes snow after fire, and even dragons have their endings. ~ J.R.R. Tolkien, The Hobbit
Next: Have a Nice Day
The Bible According to Brad

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