Howl and go Naked

March 3, 2013

Religion

Where is your god now?Wrath of God
Micah 1:1 to 6:2

1:1 The word of the Lord that just popped into Micah’s head one day.

It’s going to get bad, real bad. God will be coming down to walk on the Earth and the dirt will melt under his feet like wax in a hot fire. He will totally destroy all of the land and also every idol. Therefore I will whine and howl and go naked. Not exactly sure what the connection is there, but trust me, there are many evildoers in the world, many evildoers. When things get bad and people cry to the Lord for mercy he will not hear them at all. La-la-la-la I can’t hear you, so why not just shut the hell up.

God is extremely upset with the prophets lately and will not show them any visions.

4:1 In the last days of the world God will be hanging out up in the mountains and whole nations of people will come to him wanting to learn about his philosophy and get life coaching. Many nations are against us Jews, but God will make us powerful. Gather together all of your troops Israel. Someday a great leader will come to us from Bethlehem. He will be very powerful and beat the crap out of our enemies. God says he will soon have his revenge and act on his anger and his fury.

6:2 God has a controversy with his people, the Jews. How should I sacrifice to God? Is God satisfied with a thousand bloodied rams and ten thousand rivers of oil? Or does he just want us to be fair and merciful and humble? God says he will cause bad times for us soon. But I’m certain eventually he will soften up and have compassion on us and cast all of our sins into the ocean. So there’s that.
OK dear, have fun storming the castle.
Next: A Day in the Sun
The Bible According to Brad

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