Skywise Unlimited

Reaping the Whirlwind Hosea 1:2 to 8:7 1:2 The Lord ordered Hosea to marry a prostitute because the Jews were doing whorish things. It seemed like a reasonable demand. So Hosea married a hooker named Gomer and she had children who were given long terrible names by God himself. 2:2 Go tell your mother she […]

The Lion’s Den Daniel 4:4 to 12:13 4:4 King Neb dreamed again and this time he remembered what it was about. It was a tree. The tree was a giant beautiful tree that everyone loved. All the people and animals lived together in and under and around the tree. But then a scary messenger appeared […]

The Fiery Furnace Daniel 1:1 to 3:30 1:1 The Lord allowed King Nebuchadnezzar of Babylon to conquer Judah and take the Jewish people captive. King Neb called his number one chief castrated slave and told him to pick some of the brighter Jews to come live in the palace and learn to speak the local […]

The Valley of Dry Bones Ezekiel 18:1 to 48:35 18:1 Repent for your sins and God will have mercy. It’s not your father’s fault you’re being punished. God judges you individually. Sin, sin, sin, tsk tsk tsk, your sins have been many. The people of Tyre are a bunch of sinners and the Babylonians will […]

The Son of Man Ezekiel 1:1 to 17:24 1:1 One day when I was with the captive Jews of Babylon, the heavens opened and I saw visions of God himself. I saw a huge stormy thingy with flashing lights and some weird multi-winged, multi-headed monsters. They were like part ox, part lion, part man, and […]

Lamentations Jeremiah 1:1 to 18:1 1:1 The sad miserable tidings of Jeremiah, into whose mouth many words were put by the Lord. 1:4 God knew me before I was even in my mother’s belly. Before I was even a sperm. Then when I became a fetus he decided he wanted me to be a preacher. […]

Prophecy of Doom Isaiah 1:1 to 66:1 1:1 The hallucinations of Isaiah, the son of Amoz, which he saw concerning Judah and Jerusalem back in the days of Uzziah and a bunch of other kings. 1:2 Ok listen up. God says he has taken good care of you up until now but you are all […]

The Preacher Ecclesiastes 1:1 to 12:1 1:1 The words of the preacher, the son of King David in Jerusalem. Everything is nothing, absolutely nothing. Everything is absolutely nothing. People live and people die but the Earth just keeps on keeping on. The sun rises and the sun sets. The wind blows, the river flows. There […]

Wisdom of Solomon Proverbs 1:1 to 31:1 1:1 These are the wise sayings of Solomon, son of David, king of Israel. 1:7 The beginning of knowledge is to be afraid of the Lord. So be very afraid. 1:8 My son, listen to me and your mother. 1:10 Don’t hang with bad people. 3:1 Don’t forget […]

Hymns of the Lyre Psalms 1:1 to 1:150 1. You would do well to follow the Lord’s rules, otherwise you will suffer mightily I assure you. 2. The kings of Earth think they can gang up against the Lord but he is laughing. Bwahahaha he will smash them to pieces like a clay pot. I […]

Rebuilding the TempleNehemiah 1:1 to 13:31 1:1 Hi, my name is Nehemiah. I am a totally loyal servant to the king of Persia. It is my job to bring the king a cup of wine now and then. It’s a pretty important job so I’m a pretty important guy. 2:1 One day I brought the […]

Post Exile Jerusalem Ezra 1:1 to 9:1 1:1 During the very first year under the rule of King Cyrus, the new king of Persia, the Jews enslaved in Babylon got some excellent news. The king posted a written public notice that read as follows: OFFICIAL NOTICE God has told me to be the boss over […]